Themes of Happiness

I would never consider myself a learned scholar but I have noticed a few key themes running throughout all the blogs, books and articles I’ve read when it comes to keeping healthy, happy and simple and thought you might like to hear them.

Communication

* stop living in the future -  Make Life Wonderful Now.

* keep to the point [simple clarity]

* do not point/ blame

* try not to complain [or if you do, add a constructive suggestion or good point]

* mind your language

* listen – really attend to the other person, don’t just wait for your opportunity to speak.

Food/Drink

* eat slowly

* eat with either silence or laughter

* always try to prepare your food with love

* have at least one meal a week that has no meat

* eat in balance [don’t deny yourself a slice of cake but make sure you get your 5-a-day]

* drink more water than alcohol

General

* simplify commitments [do you have to do that? Could you say no to the next job?]

* feel empowered [you really can do it, it’s not as scary as you think]

* silently wish a stranger a happy day [daily practise to spread compassion]

* when you feel down, put on an upbeat piece of music and DANCE

* try something new at least once a month [read a new author/genre, learn a skill, try writing from the bottom of your notepad upwards, try a new flavour of herbal tea]

These are just some ideas for guidelines; for living in tune with your values. Please don’t feel you have to do any of these. I don’t manage to do half of these yet; but I strive for them nonetheless. If something ticks a box as one of your values, I suggest implementing a couple of these them. Test the theories and see what works for you. I’ve listed a few ideas to bring more joy into your life. What could you do to bring happiness in?

Happiness

* do something twice a week that makes your heart soar – draw, dance, sing, ring an old friend, garden, paint, read.

* do a big to-do list item once a week for that sense of accomplishment and movement

* do something purely relaxing twice a week– a lie-in in bed, give yourself/receive a massage, meditate, mindfully sip your tea and really taste the flavours.

I’d say that these are minimal; the more time you put into these activities, the less likely you’ll be stressed out 24/6. As you can see, it doesn’t have to cost a single thing. Some of my activities include:

- reading a book in bed with a cup of nettle tea
- watching a powerful music video
- really getting into and enjoying a book I have to read for class
- listening in on funny bus conversations  - “are you telling me broccoli is a vegetable?”
- writing a gratitude list
- letting someone get on the bus in front of me when I’m wearing dark clothing and seeing their pleasant surprise
- writing a passionate blog post
- seeing someone going against the grain  – Wednesday a man (in his 50s/60’s) was sketching other passengers on the bus, despite some judgemental comments from other people. It’s wonderful to see him doing what he loved despite other’s opinions.
- watch a comedian show and laugh
- walking in nature
- singing in the street
- dancing to a funky song

Some song suggestions include:

* Walking on Sunshine

* Tine Bealtine

* The Night

* Livin’ La Vida Loca

* What a Feeling

* Holding out for a Hero

There are so many ways to bring joy into our lives. Follow your values and do what you believe in. I really can’t stress it enough just how important it is to take time to be joyous.

I don’t get on with that question “if you could do anything for the rest of your life, what would it be?”. For me, it’s too limiting. I want to do so much. So let’s rephrase it.

If you had the next hour to do anything, what would it be?

I’d read my book for half an hour and tidy up.

Make sure you do that thing (even if only for ten minutes) within the next 48 hours. I dare you.  Leave a comment and tell us what you want to do. Make a public commitment to do that thing at least twice a week.

For your Happiness.

~Rose.

Value

We allocate our time where we allocate our money. I’ve got a couple of posts about this coming up, but I’d love to hear your own views on it.

This is something that I’ve been realising over the past couple of weeks. I love to dance; but it takes me £10 and 35 minutes on the bus to actually dance for an hour. I could learn all I want or need about linguistics from library books; but I don’t think I’d allocate time on studying unless I were paying for it.

With my book list I got more worried about finishing the number of books than actually enjoying them or gaining insight from them.

How do you define value? How do your spend your time and how do you deal with social expectations to be always gaining, working and accomplishing?

~Rose

Image Credit: Jeff Belmonte

Simplicity: The List

A couple of weeks ago, I found Man vs. Debt; a blog about so many different topics; mainly focusing around travel and money. One of the most inspiring things the family have done is to create a list of everything they own: totalling under 150 items between them [two adults, one child].  When I mentioned on Twitter that I was compiling a similar list, I had many responses wishing to know more.

So last week, I looked around my University room  and really surveyed each item. I went back to Baker’s post about creating the list and decided I’d write one of everything I felt was “essential” and then work to get my belongings down to ONLY the contents of that list.

I kind of don’t want to put it up, because then it’ll be official… I’ll have to work at it and keep my word [I’m extremely unforgiving when it comes to honour]. However, I can safely say at this moment that it’s a work-in-progress. I started it just after 2am, and obviously have things in my room at my parents house that I won’t necessarily count but would want to keep. Similarly, things like my printer will be unnecessary when I finish my degree; unless I get a job that requires it.

Unlike Baker and his family, I will not be travelling any time soon. In fact I’ll move into a third University room come September and after July 2011; I’ll likely live with my parent and work/gain experience before undertaking further training. Obviously it depends on what I choose to do after my degree; how well I do in it and what those around me are doing. If my friends find a flat in Brighton and I find work here; I’ll stay.

The point, however, is that I have no wish or need to pack all my belongings into a couple of backpacks. I’ll need cleaning agents and duvet covers, kitchen roll and washing up liquid, plates, pans, etc. Similarly, I need my printer while I’m in education, even though it’s bulky and I wouldn’t need it otherwise.

So… I’m going to take a deep breath and share my list with you; as it stands.

I’ve categorized it in the best way for me; yours will likely have different headings depending upon your situation. I feel the need to emphasise that this is *in progress* so bear with me.

Electronic [11]

* fan
* lamp
* printer
* laptop
* speakers
* leads
* microphone
* media hub
* paper
* ink
* cd player/radio?

Hand Luggage [12]

* camera
* music player/headphones
* binoculars
* mobile
* purse
* thermos flask
* umbrella
* water bottle
* keys
* tissues
* torch
* sunglasses

Toiletries [33]

* toothbrush
* toothpaste
* retainer
* mouthwash
* shampoo
* conditioner
* body wash
* nail clippers
* girly stuff
* ear-piercing lotion
* razor
* nail brush
* make-up [two nail varnish, 2 eyeliner, 4 eyeshadows, mascara, vaseline]
* body lotion/hand cream
* soap
* flannel
* deodorant
* face wipes
* vitamins
* sun cream
* first aid kit [painkillers, tubi-grip, germolene, bonjela, tweezers, plasters]
* body spray
* hairbrush
* hairbands
* hairclips

SoulShine [13]

* clock
* watch
* diary
* sunshine buddy
* snail
* Tien-lung [dragon]
* Neko
* 4 photos [big, small, massive panorama, purse]
* earring box
* chinese box

Educational [7]

* books
* lecture notes/slides
* notebooks
* marked work
* usb stick
* psychologies magazines
* calculator

Jewellery [10]

* locket
* butterfly pendant
* bracelet
* 3 rings [pentacle, amber, promise]
* pentacle necklace
* ring necklace
* focus bracelet
* earrings [ten pairs max- received 15 pairs alone for X-mas, going to par down]

Toys [9]

* Mafdet
* Loki
* Tyr
* Pepsi
* Cocoa
* Abu
* Mousie
* Blanket
* Game CDs

Stationary/Craft [10]

* calendar
* poster
* pencil case [sketching, watercolour pencils, normal]
* sketch paper
* lined notepad
* magazines
* books
* paintbrushes

Documents [6]

* driving licence
* passport
* birth certificate
* V50
* exam results
* poems/cards

Altar [6]

* incense
* candle
* salt/herbs
* water pot
* pentacle
* lighter

Shoes [8]

* 2 trainers
* boots
* 2 sandals
* 2 shoes
* slippers/flipflops

Household [14]

* cleaning wipes
* kitchen roll
* scourer
* washing liquid
* washing machine stuff   [can you tell I'm a student?]
* carpet sweeper
* pans
* tupperware
* plate
* cutlery
* sharp knife
* wooden/plastic spoons
* baking tray
* sieve
* mugs

Misc [6]

* backpack
* money box
* suitcase
* 3 cloth shopping bags

[145 items minus clothes+food]

Ideal Clothes

Airer
2 Gloves  [normal + fingerless]
Hat
Scarf
2x coat
swim costume
underwear
5 trousers [4 jeans, 1 black]
5 skirts [3 long, 2 short]
30 tops?
3 hoodies
belts
dressing gown/kimono
bathrobe
towel

Some of those are cuddly  toys/specific ornaments you won’t be able to apply to your life but I thoroughly recommend making a list like this. Could you simplify your belongings?

What would you do to bring your belongings down to 200? To pure essentials? If you write a list of your own, please share it with us to inspire others.

~Rose.

Image Credit: Wellington_Grey

Failure: Dreams & Success

Last week, the vocalist from my favourite band, Otep Shamaya, posted this quote on their facebook page:

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”
- Dr. Robert Schuller

And it got me thinking.
I would run a proper, full-day, paid workshop, sell my eBook and get some formal training for my energy healing. I didn’t even take a breath between reading it and thinking that answer. Well.. technically, my first  answer was “Everything”  but that’s a bit vague.

“Would you like me to give you a formula for… success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure… Go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because, remember that’s where you’ll find success.”

- Thomas J Watson

Simplify your Work

This reminded me of a snippet from Tim Ferriss’s book the Four-Hour Work Week, where he separates the “what do you do” from “how do you earn money?”. For example, if I had a job, the answer would be:

What do I do?

• Dance
• Sing
• Laugh
• Love
• Volunteer
• Create
• Focus..

How do I earn my money?

• Insert job title here
• Take part in paid psychology experiments
• Do odd jobs round my parents house
• Get older each year [birthday money]

What’s your skill?

• Leadership
• Breaking through fear barriers [getting good at, not an expert]
• Singing
• Dancing? [apparently]
• Drinking herbal teas [I’m pro]
• Listening/Talking

You catch my drift. Following on my previous post; society defines our successes by accomplishment:

• Position within a company
• Size of our house
• Type/number of cars
• Money earned
• Child’s successes/clothes/toys

“It’s about finding the right balance between work – having a creative dream, having a career and also being a mother and having the good time with your kids… to be able to spend time with them every day.”
– Stine Holscher

So I challenge you: decide which of these is idyllic and go for it. If you couldn’t fail, would you aim for a life with your family, living out your values in creativity; or work from 6-6 every weekday?

“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.”
– Robert Frost

The Choice

Consider this: Which of the above two quotes would you prefer to live?

In my imagination, I’m in a smaller house with my husband; where the mortgage is small; we live happily on £30-£40 a week for groceries [he loves to cook/experiment] and thus out outgoing wouldn’t be too high. This would enable us to work less, so we could spend more time together/pursuing hobbies/ with friends and family.

Can you see yourself in that vision? Not in my house; get your own! (However, you can come round for dinner one night, if it’ll inspire you to give up working yourself into exhaustion.)

From what I’ve seen, the Nine-To-Five gives you:

• Money
• Stress
• Something to do [time-wasters like meetings which put you behind]

But you often sacrifice:

• Friends
• Family
• Time
• Hobbies
• Healthy eating
• Exercise
• Individuality
• Freedom
• Priorities/Values that matter to you

Two Sides of the Coin

What are the chances of failure, and what would you lose? What would gain?

Things you may gain in a failure:

• Experience [skills – communication/leadership]
• Knowledge    [to advise others]
• Perhaps money at first
• Happiness
• Clarity of what you want [That/ Not that]

Now flip it: what are your chances of success and what would you lose/gain by succeeding?

Things you may gain in succeeding:

• Time
• Money
• Happiness
• Community [new friends in the field/more time for friends]
• Respect
• Credibility
• Relative Skills – business/time management or communication skills

Tell me that isn’t worth it.

Generally the potential losses are repairable: money and time. Obviously you can’t get time back, but since most jobs seem to cause waste, you may as well lose it doing something you love; something that has a chance at success: Time spent learning the lessons or skills that failure can teach.

“You’ll always miss one hundred percent of the shots you do not take.”

- Wayne Gretzky

“Nothing fails like success because we don’t learn from it.  We learn only from failure.”

- Kenneth Boudling

“We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success. We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.”

- Samuel Smiles

“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”
-  Woody Allen

“The things that hurt us teach us.”
- Author Unknown

“Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.”
- Zig Ziglar

Just because you fail, it doesn’t mean you lose. Take a chance.
So, Dr. Schuller: What would you do if you couldn’t fail?    You’d never learn, grow and thus never succeed.

~Rose.

Picture Credit: Behrooz Nobakht

Inspiration:

Best Inspirational Quotes

Wisdom Quotes

Quote Garden

The Year of Accomplishment

Affirming Two’Ten

Everywhere I look, I’m seeing fabulous affirmations for this year. In the turn of a new decade; of leaving a year which was portrayed almost as ‘rock-bottom’; I can see the relief emanating from strangers in the street. The workbooks, to-do lists, books and blogs on resolutions are out; and they’re everywhere.

Living large and dreaming big are the themes for 2010. Everyone KNOWS they have the power to excel, break boundaries and re-define society. It seems this year the whole world has realised that they can do anything and intend to make up for lost time.

With resolutions coming thick and fast there’s an under lying current of passion beneath.  Not only is this wave of motivation sweeping us up, spreading like wild-fire; but it is seeming to stick. Most resolutions taper out by the third week of January and as week 3 tapers off I’m still seeing the tweets, blog update posts and general habit-forming positivity.

Something seems different.

Inspirational Blogs with Big Plans

Wired for Noise

Man vs. Debt

Notes From The Frugal Trenches

Scott H Young

Serene Journey

Spirit Blog

Resolute

As for my own resolutions, I woke up at 9:45 yesterday morning, the latest since I began my goal of waking early on Jan 2^nd. However, this morning I cut back to 8:58am and shall start over again with bringing that to an earlier start tomorrow.

Currently, I’m not tired until 2am regardless of what time I wake. However, I am more lethargic throughout the day, so my goal is to really exhaust myself to the point of early nights.

Last night, I sat in a circle of half-a-dozen members of the Sussex Spiritual Society and led a workshop aimed at challenging the beliefs and methods of new years resolutions. In a way, it was the blog posts I hope to write for my blog series on habit forming and brought the elements I hope to convey in my up-coming eBook to light.

One attendee explained her love of waking at 6am to run in the quiet, which made me smile and re-vamp my own plans.

Breaking stuff down

Currently, I’ve my Word-Of-The-Year, and four goals to accomplish within the next six months. Those goals are split into simple daily steps and a weekly check-up/completion chart.

For example, goal 1 is to finish my eBook. Daily steps involve writing, planning, researching or budgeting. Goal 2 is to get a 1^st in my degree. This involves daily steps of writing/reading/revising and filling in weekly chart depicting at least an hour on each subject.

Ideally, University students are advised to read 200 pages of core texts a week, one article on each subtopic from extended reading [found independently], write up/research/revise each lecture and complete all written assignments. Mock exams should be done regularly and reviewing information from previous courses is a must.

With all that overwhelm, an hour per subject isn’t even close to idyllic. However, current rates are around the mark of 2 hours a week. And that my friends, does not equate to a 1^st.

So I’m to ensure I spent 4 hours a week on week; and likely 8 hours by week 5. This is in addition to completing assessed coursework, such as the 6,500 words due in on Wednesday 20^th.

Excellent

“2010. The creed for this New Year is, “be remarkable in everything you do.” You will find that if you just spend a little time thinking about how you can be different you will find yourself more interested in life.

Be Remarkable. Yes this means you will have to work harder in the upcoming year, but it’s worth it. Easy is boring. Safe is lazy. Very Good is bad. Details are everything. Risk is life.” – Aaron A. Madonna

What are you doing for 2010? Have you been caught up in the wave of can-do attitude like so many? Dream Big. Plan Reality. Believe.

Will you make this YOUR YEAR? Your time to shine? Share your thoughts!

~Rose

Picture Credit: PatrickSmithPhotography

Simplicity: Food

Something quite often overlooked in the simplistic lifestyle of the well-being from certain foods. Eating simply is something which really helps me to maintain my optimum energy levels, as well as being good for my bank balance and saving me time.

Money

Firstly, buy enough for just 6 days and use what you have left for day 7. I shop once a fortnight, buying enough for 12 days personally, which works out cheaper when you have to buy a bus ticket per shopping trip. This means not only that your money stretches that extra day; but that you often find hidden treasures. Ever gone out to buy an item for a particular meal and then found that item when you got home; hiding at the back of the cupboard?

Plan your meals a little. I buy meat which lasts me five weeks. I have ham for sandwiches every 2 weeks; but mince, chicken breasts, diced lamb, chops and sausage rolls will keep in a freezer for weeks. I buy fresh produce and batch cook it early on so it can last a week and a half.  I also buy fruit that can help spread my vegetables thinner; as I can eat less of them.

Energy

This is probably the most appealing reason to eat simply. Eating small portions, often is generally thought to be an effective way of keeping energy and blood-sugar levels at a constant. This keeps cravings at bay and means you’re more likely to make more healthy choices.  Healthier choices lead to a constant supply of minerals, vitamins, and antioxidants, which have been thought to improve overall well-being.

Time

If I know what I’m cooking; especially if it involves re-heating something from a previous batch cook; a nutritious dinner can be ready in as little as three minutes, complete with meat, starch and vegetables. It need not even take more time if you’re boiling vegetables; just use a bigger pan/two pans and let the leftovers cool before storing in the fridge or freezer.  I find that spending five minutes extra at the weekend ifs worth saving twenty minutes every day for the next five.

Food Ideas

So, here are some tried and tested ideas which are simple to cook.

• Salad with Chicken cuppa Soup & Wholemeal Toast
• Pasta Carbonara
• Wholemeal Rice with some Chicken & Sweetcorn Soup
• Lasagne
• Cottage Pie
• Chicken Breast with Roasted Vegetables
• Tuna Pasta Bake
• Steamed Vegetables with sliced Ham & Spaghetti
• Pork Sausages with Couscous and Stir-fried Vegetables
• Steamed Potatoes with Fish Fillet & Salad
• Noodles with Tomato Soup & Salad
• Curry & Rice
• Macaroni Cheese with Tuna
• Tagliatelle & Vegetables in Tomato Sauce

All of the above can be cooked by a student; as I know, being one. They’re simple to cook, store and eat; with most containing starch, vegetables and meat. They don’t cost the earth and don’t take that much labour-intensive time.

Batch Cooking

I mentioned this above and think this really is a key part of simple eating. For example, lets say I boil 3 carrots, a parsnip, green beans, broccoli, asparagus and sweetcorn in one big pan and only eat a quarter of it that night.

With the leftovers I could:

• Microwave in a ready-made sauce
• Add to rice/cous cous/pasta
• Use in lasagne
• Re-heat with spaghetti hoops
• Stir-fry
• Eat cold in a salad [perhaps not with those ingredients, but adjust to your own taste]

The possibilities are almost endless. I also batch cook pasta, mince [freeze leftovers] and even pre-prepare fruit for puddings.

For example, some thing I haven’t gotten round to trying is Summer’s amazing Apple Pie; because to get my blender dirty for a couple apples doesn’t feel worth it.  However, I could blend quite a few apples and freeze or refrigerate the leftovers; leaving some in the blended to add other ingredients and make a smoothie.

Voila! Simple, prepared cooking for many healthy snacks.

What are your favourite tips and hints for cooking simply? Any favourite recipes? Share them with us!

~Rose.

Picture Credit: Blissful_Bee

Inspired by: Minimalist Diet

Simplicity: Happiness in Denmark

So, it’s a Friday morning in 2010, the snow is gorgeous, the sun is shining and I’ve just  found this wonderful article about the happiest people on earth. Welcome to Denmark.

Part 1 – Safety, Minimalism and Marriage

Part 2 – Success, Religion and Socialism

Obviously it’s difficult to make an objective opinion from a single video. However, it sounds like the people in this country are all about health, family, education and trust.

Sounds great, right?

Let’s looks at these in a little more detail.

Key Points:

“If you have a healthy people because we have free healthcare… and you have free education then you have healthy, well-educated people and what can beat that?” – Nanna Norup

“The more you earn; the more you pay in taxes.” – Danish Woman

“Every meal is here. Always. We like to spend the time together as a family. That really important for us.” – Nanna Norup

More about having a marriage than “getting married”. ~Oprah Winfrey

“Every meal is here. Always. We like to spend the time together as a family. That really important for us.”  – Nanna Norup

“Nobody wants to steal your babies. So you feel really safe.” – Line Ambye

“We don’t necessarily think of it as [socialism], we more think of it as being civilised – that you take care of your old and your sick and you make sure that people get well educated.” – Nanna Norup

“It’s about finding the right balance between work – having a creative dream, having a career and also being a mother and having the good time with your kids… to be able to spend time with them every day.” – Stine Holscher

Success is defined by:   (Nanna Norup)

• Values
• How you balance work and family.
• Being creative or intellectual
• Happiest is a success.

The key point of the whole movie, for me was Experience over consumerism. And to boot, they’re all about the environment, as well as caring for the people.

My Ideas

I think I know where I have to visit in the next few years; and it’s Denmark. Simplicity isn’t just about clean and tidy. It’s about living by your values, spending time with your family and trust in your community.

Isn’t that AMAZING?! It really is mind-blowing that there are whole cities out there who have ‘got it’; who know that it’s experience, not stuff. And yet the rest of us are still stuck in the media’s grasp of materialism.

Doesn’t it just sound perfect? I think so. Would you love to put your loves first, to spend time with family and to have a clean, tidy house?

What’s stopping you? How could you edge just one step closer to that? If this sounds idyllic, why turn the TV off for one night a week and spend an hour with your partner, your kids or invite some friends round?

I know I’m going to work towards it.

~Rose.

Picture Credit: Siggidóri

Edit: For a wider perspective on this topic, please visit:

Early Retirement Extreme

Seyed

Katia Takes KØbenhavn

Setting Goals in Motion

It’s the first week of January. And we all know that means:

Some people make resolutions, others think “it’s just a new calendar” and others choose a theme to focus on. For anyone creating habits or aiming for goals, there is advice around this time of year for doing it efficiently, effectively and fast.

However, I’m not really known for my speed.

On the evening of January 1^st, I decided that I needed to get back into the habit of early rising. So the next morning, I woke at 9am. and the next, 8:59am. And the next, at 8:59. yesterday and this morning? 8:35am. Tomorrow morning? 8:30am.

For the purpose of this article, let’s assume all resolutions [weight loss, healthy eating, joining a club, reading more books, watching less TV etc] are covered under the metaphor of waking early.

Now. If tomorrow, I wake at 8:45, I’ll still be pleased.

Because I know that if I have tried to wake up at 7am on the 2^nd; I’ve have failed: And slept until 11am every morning since.

Any day I wake before 9:05am, I’m congratulating myself.

And though I’m giving myself until the first weekend of February to reach 7am, I know many people who’ll have tried the 7am from the beginning, but will fail by the 15^th.

There are so many articles out there about resolutions; literally on every blog I’ve read. And I’ve noticed some pretty key themes going around:

• Small Increments [Take Baby Steps]
• Know Your Why [Motivation]
• Consistency [Around 30 Days]
• Written Reminders [Progress & Plans]
• Details [Be Precise]

Let’s break this down a little.

1. Small Increments [Take Baby Steps]

Don’t try to wake at 5am from tomorrow if you normally wake at 8. Cut back around 15-30 minutes and keep at that time for at least 3 days, 7 being better. Then take the next step of 15 or 30 minutes earlier. Notice your energy levels and go to bed earlier as necessary.

2. Know Your Why [Motivation]

A common problem with New Years Resolutions, is the lack of reason. Why do you want to lose weight? Is it for the energy levels, the thinner figure, the added strength or so you can run a half-marathon? Know your reasons and really reinforce them. Make sure it’s a goal you’re passionate about reaching, else you’ll trip before the finish line.

3. Consistency [Around 30 Days]

I detail how to apply this below, along with number 5, but it’s important that you keep up the habit for around 4-8 weeks. Some say two weeks, others day 21 days and others say 30. For me, six weeks is best if I hope to have the habit so ingrained that I can miss it for a day and still stay on track, but I’d recommend a minimum of 30 days.

4. Written Reminders [Progress & Plans]

There’s no point having this goal if you don’t think about it. If you aren’t being constantly reminded and motivated; you won’t act in accordance. I also find that writing down current progress can be a brilliant reminder of how far I’ve come.. If you’ve completed the tasks in the pas, it’s a sign that it’ll be easier. “I did three weeks last time, what’s one week in comparison?”

5. Details [Be Precise]

The second most common flaw in resolution-making is a lack of precision. If you’re goal is to lose 15 pounds in 6 months, and you lay out steps (run for 30 mins twice a week and swim 20 lengths each Saturday); you’ll be able to track your progress. Adding a time-limit is brillant, as you can work out your weekly/monthly goals and if you don’t meet them, can act (up your running to three times a week). You’ll also feel the results clearly and are much more likely to succeed compared to someone whose goal is “lose weight”.

Early Rising

Now. I’ve been doing this less than a week; and it’s both harder and easier than I’d first expected. By 9:15am, I’m awake and glad of it. I feel refreshed, regardless of little/poor sleep because it’s quiet, calm and I know I’ve nothing pressing to do until 9:30. However, those first thirty minutes even are a blur of yawns and “shall-i-return-to-bed” thoughts. At the moment, I’m gaining no time, as it takes 30 minutes to wake. But a) that will lessen and b) even so, waking at 7 will give me the time from 7:30 onwards to get ahead/chill/work etc.

Consistency

This time next week, I need to wake up at 7:15am to get to University for a lecture. The original plan was to aim for 7:15 on the 31^stJan; decreasing my waking time by 30 minutes a week.

Due to this knowledge, and the knowledge that I’d have to get up at 8:30 today and tomorrow for work; I’ve skipped ahead.

Having said that, if next Wednesday I wake at 8:30am [instead of my original goal] I will still be thrilled. And I’ll keep it at 8:30 until the weekend, when it’ll switch to 8:15am.

Step-By-Step

Along side this habit I have four goals, which I’ve planned to complete in 6 months. I split them into segments and I try to do something toward them EVERY DAY. This is key. In order to complete a goal, once must do something on a REGULAR basis.

My Journey

Let’s look at an example:
I want a job.

On Monday, I edited/updated my CV and sent it off to my cousin and a friend for constructive criticism. On Tuesday I checked the University job website and the experiment database [they pay for you to participate]. Today I worked on my eBook. These things take between 2 and 20 minutes to complete; and they get me closer to my goal.

I also want to teach [this blog is one method of doing that]. I broke that goal down to * upscale my blog and * get comfortable speaking in public.

So. I’ve been working on blog posts daily; anything from a title to a paragraph to three separate posts. Even publishing a blog I wrote a week ago counts towards this goal.

Secondly, I’ve offered to give a short workshop on new years habits, based on the ideas I’ll talk about in the Habits series I’m working on for this blog. I’ll be doing that next week to the Spiritual Society at Sussex. These are people I’ve given a talk to before, so it’s slightly less nerve-wracking.

And that step, I can cut down to:

• prepare answer sheets
• prepare rough guide – intro first, then questions or should I ask for what they want to start?, include a couple examples [my getting job one above maybe?]
• clearly demonstrate the process with habits, goals and themes
• questions to plant in the audience by stooges [e.g. The president of the society can pretend to ask me a really difficult, unplanned question, which I’ve planned an answer to; to get others asking difficult questions which will challenge me]
• compile a list of resources for them to find more details [4-hours work week, Zen Habits etc.
• compile a feedback form so I can implement good and improve bad points into a longer, maybe income-generating workshop later in the year.

And I can do each of those steps on one or over a couple of days. The rough guide may take a couple as I’ll set aside a single ay to edit/read-through/tweak/show the president etc.

These are just examples of how to handle the new year; what are you up to? Any tips or hints for my own plans? Have you given or attended a talk/workshop and found certain things useful? Let me know by leaving a comments.

~Rose.

P.S. I’m currently working on an eBook and two new series’ for this blog; one about Early Rising and a second about Habits in general. Thank you for being patient with me as I prepare these posts for you and please let me know if there are any topics you specifically want help with.

Focus Habit

The Focus of Habits

Firstly, happy new year to all and a good luck for all those resolutions you’ve made. As a part of my own self-improvement resolution, I’m forming new habits and I thought I could share what I’ve discovered with you.

My word of the Year for 2010 is Focus. As 2009 drew to a close, I thought about where I should go after this degree. What I should specialise in next year and where I’m aiming for. What purpose and service my blog should provide.

And I’m lost. I’m a jack-of-all-trades, even in my goals. When I think about what I could do for the rest of my life, I want to study language and psychology, to draw and paint and sing and dance and make my own herbal remedies and presents and write stories and poetry. I could make money from any one of these and I’d be doing something I loved.  This year is about discovering, about honing in and focusing. I’ll be choosing my final year topics in a matter of weeks and I hope focus will help me with that decision.

Because that’s the current problem: My future includes ALL of the above listed; and without focus and prioritising, I won’t get far enough to get paid/become skilled. If I spent equal time on each of those options each day; making them a focus, I’d burn out and get nothing done on any of them.  I had this issue when picking my word of the year; even once I’d pulled it from a hat I thought ‘but I want to focus on quiet and on this and on that’.

And asking for your input, though useful, didn’t actually make the job easier; as I’d hoped. So I’ve started with the smallest steps.

I need to find focus in my life. This is just another reason onto the other 15 I’ve given as I’ve let this word sink in.  So I’ve started some new habits; as it’s often said that people don’t lose bad habits, they just have so many positive ones that there’s no room for negative ones.

I found an article at Serene Journey, which led me to Self Help Daily. One post there is called 10 habits we should all adopt – starting tomorrow.

Instead of focusing on lessening negative habits, Joi suggests filling our lives with good habits. The aim of this is to leave no room for bad habits.

“The good squeezes out the bad, so you’re left with a double-sided win: You get rid of things that are bad for you and you make room for things that are good for you.” ~ Ten Habits You Should Develop
Where to start?

So what habits have I started developing? What mini-steps have I taken in the direction of focus?

• I split my blog in two
• I write down at least two foci for gratitude each day
• I schedule in time to read during the day – made it a priority
• I write a bit of blog post a day; from a single title to an entire post; I write something
• I’m wearing a specific bracelet to remind me to focus
• I’m working on University papers when I could [and would usually] leave it another week
• I’ve begun a routine of waking earlier

I know the may not seem like much, but to create realistic and lasting habits, it’s best to start with a few and build your way up. So this week, the focus is on wearing my bracelet daily, the University work and posting a few blog posts. I’ve been focusing on waking earlier for a couple of weeks and feel that’s started to settle now [though to be honest, it's slipped in this last week. I plan to do a further post on my own tips and hints for this particular habit at a later date].

“The quiet hours of the morning are the perfect way to glide into your day.” ~ Make Early Mornings A Habit

What habits could you earn to bring focus into your life?

~Rose.